Learning to Let Go and Move On

We all have experienced a situation that we wished never happened. For some it is easy to swallow the consequences and move on. For others the guilt and weight of the experience makes it impossible to let go. It is important to understand that the “baggage” from the past stops us from creating a successful future. As we share our experiences with others some individuals empathize where others impatiently say let it go and move on. This statement is easier said than done for many people, sometimes our past will creep into a new opportunity that presents itself and what was supposed to be a positive experience ends up becoming sabotaged because of the “baggage” was never thrown away. This cycle can stop because there is hope. Learning, understanding the lesson and letting go will allow you to live life in a positive light.

Dr. Cherry A. Collier, Social Psychologist and Author of Move Out of Your Own Way explains that letting go is difficult for many individuals because “there is a learned behavior that people are stuck in story telling. As we continue to tell the story or [situation] from a negative perspective it adds weight.” Some individuals see talking about their experience as a therapeutic way of letting go. Dr. Collier suggests, “once you learn your lesson let it go completely don’t talk about it again. Although, if you are at the point where you truly learned your lesson and are strong from the experience then talk about it as a testimony, you can empower others and help them by sharing how you made it through,” says the International Business Coach and Life Consultant.

Moving on from a situation can be a long process. Dr. Collier suggests the following tips and expertise to get started.

Get the lesson – Dr. Collier stresses that “we are not designed to drive looking in the rear view mirror nor do we have eyes in the back of our head, therefore we can’t change the past. If you focus on the past it will keep you stuck in a place where there is no opportunity available, get the lesson and move forward,” she says.

Rewrite the story- Dr. Collier says that, “journaling can be a wonderful way to understand your thoughts, clear your head and see the situation. Once you get the lesson rewrite your story and decide how you want to write the future. Recognize that you have the opportunity to create your next chapter, so put yourself in a position where you can move forward.” Dr. Collier continues to express “that everything happens for a very powerful reason. Once you ask yourself what you learned and what you understand from the lesson it will allow you to let it go easily.”

Break the pattern – Dr. Collier explains “it is important that as you are learning your lesson, you realize that it is positive, future based, and about you. Learning is not “I learn not to trust, but it is “no matter what happens I can survive this.” Dr. Collier encourages readers to “look to yourself for credibility and [know] that you are okay.” She also encourages individuals to “be aware of the power that they have and see everyday is a way to change and disconnect from yesterday, Realize that everyday is a new day and it is important to treat it that way, as a new power to live your best life.” Says Dr. Collier.


It is important to remember that life presents lessons to everyone and we are all different so some may take longer than others to go through their process of letting go. “We were not taught properly how to let go,” says Dr. Collier. Therefore, it is essential to concentrate on your personal growth and health. This will enable you to understand your new strength and embrace change. Don’t let the past damper opportunity for tomorrow.

For more information on Dr. Cherry A. Collier and her collection of books visit http://www.drcherrycoaching.com/. Sphere: Related Content