Dealing with Rejection a Holistic Approach

Colson Whitehead was not accepted into Harvard’s undergraduate creative writing program. Zadie Smith couldn’t find a journalism job. Although these extraordinary individuals faced rejection, the universe had a better plan for them—a plan that we all have benefited from by having the opportunity to embrace two young literary greats. When faced with rejection, it is difficult to realize that there is something better waiting for us right around the corner.

Rejection is hard to swallow. The process of rejection forces us to look at ourselves and evaluate our actions. Each of us has experienced rejection throughout our lives, although it didn’t lead us to the particular situation we wanted, it led us to something better. Through rejection we can develop character, strength, patience, humility, and gratitude. These emotions help us handle the wonderful gift we will encounter after being rejected. As life has its cycles, so does rejection. There are four steps in the cycle: it starts with rejection, then we retreat, expand into renewal, and finally rejoice.

The definition of rejection is to refuse to accept or to discard as useless. When we see or hear the words, “we regret to inform you,” “unfortunately,” or a simple “no,” an individual may feel useless, disappointed, and wonder what’s the point. It is at this time we may want to give up, blame somebody (anybody but ourselves), scream, cry, shout, and hate the world. Then there is a point we realize the world is not going to end as long as we are breathing. So we must change our strategy, develop strength and courage, and initially retreat before we try again.

Retreat, defined as seclusion into privacy, is the second step in the cycle of rejection. During this time we reflect by thinking about ourselves, our actions, the situation, and possibilities of other outcomes. We tend to meditate or pray during this time and gather the energy, motivation, strength, and clarity to try again or seek a different path. This is the time our character is tested; it is essential to stay as positive as possible and try to understand why we were rejected for that particular situation. Once we have released the tension, sadness, and realized that there is something better for us, we are ready to see what the universe has in store. We are renewed.

Renewal, meaning to begin or take up again, is a refreshing process. At this time we tend to put everything into perspective and try again with a better game plan and stronger mind. It is essential not to give up. There is growth from our past mistakes and shortcomings, along with determination to succeed and stay focused to the best of our ability. We are ready to embrace what the universe has in store for us by taking a chance. We understand that our heart’s desire, and sometimes more, shall come to pass. It is then we rejoice. When we rejoice, defined as to feel joy, we are happy and ready to take on the world.

The cycle is now complete--we were rejected and heartbroken, then we retreated and developed strength, we refreshed and renewed ourselves to try again, and now we attained the goal we desired and many times much more than we hoped for. In the phase of rejoicing, we tend to testify and want to bring others to where we are. We also give thanks to the higher power for testing us. Many times without the test, we wouldn’t be able to handle the greatness that is in store for us.

Although in the mist of rejection we feel the world has ended and we tend to ask ourselves why, try saying thank you, and then patiently wait in humility for that wonderful taste of success. Sphere: Related Content